Adjective: having a strong feeling of or showing annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger.
This is not a subject or word I like to think about. Everyone gets angry from time to time, some more often than others, that’s life unfortunately. But no one likes being angry, no one wakes up every morning and hopes to have a day that instils anger in their soul. If these people do exist, then I feel very fortunate to not have them in my life. People react differently to anger, and when they themselves are angry. It confused and upset me for a long time that my body’s reaction to anger was not the same as other people I knew. When I’m angry for myself and my own personal reasons, that’s fine, I can handle that. But when I get angry on behalf of others; my friends, my family, people I love and care about. That’s the anger that frustrates me. (Yes. I get angry at my reaction to anger.) I found this description of anger on the internet a few years ago, and I honestly couldn’t put it better myself:
I’ve experienced both of these. Wet and Dry. But when it comes to the people I love; my sister, “The Brain”, etc. it’s that wet, shaky, weak type of anger.
Thankfully, anger is something I very rarely have to deal with in my life. Everyone goes through their own experiences and have to face challenges which push you to the edge, and it’s only you, with help and support from others, that can bring you back. Most of the time, I feel like anger is just a waste of time. Anger solves nothing. It can help you to overcome, and move past certain things, but you need to learn to let go of it before you can truly be happy again. A couple of years ago I went through a patch which challenged me, and made me feel and deal with a whole heap of emotions. One of them was anger. I was angry. I had the right to be angry. And being angry did help me get through it. (A lot of other factors were involved here too, but as this is an angry post, we’ll stick to this). After a while, I realised that being angry was no longer helping, but was in fact, hindering. That’s when I saw yet another post on the internet which, again, I related to and now like to live by:
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha
I feel very fortunate to have the mind-set that I do. It’s definitely not the best sometimes, and there is obviously room for improvement. But this year has taught me a lot about myself. My family (Teal/Bromley side mostly) think of me as one of the more laid-back, chilled out members of the group. I try to take everything in my stride and not overthink things too much. Coming to China was a no-brainer. The only question I had to ask myself was for how long. I find it so interesting how different people can be. Shelby only agreed/found out she would be moving to China for a year 2/3 weeks before her flight. For her, this was ideal. If she had known months in advance (like me), she would have caused herself too much stress, worry, and would have talked herself out of it.
One of the things being here has made me realise and think, is that it’s important to celebrate and be proud of yourself for even the (what seem to be) smallest things. Such things as; making that step to change your life (okay that’s quite a big one). Taking your first flight alone. Organising and going on a trip to somewhere new. Ordering takeaway fried rice and actually getting what you asked for. Acknowledging that something needs to change in your life to make you happier, and actually doing it. These little things need to be celebrated just as much as the big things. These little accomplishments in life are what make us realise we’re doing good. We’re making our life our own, and we’re doing it good. Look at us adulating all over the place!
Me and Shelby have quite similar mind-sets. We’re not exactly the same, which is obviously good, but we’re similar enough that we’ve been able to successfully plan and execute a number of travelling weekends this year, and even when faced with all the challenges China likes to throw up at us, we’ve taken them in our stride, and carried on. (Usually with a smile on our faces and Queen or AC/DC in our ears.) I feel very lucky to have met and had Shelby (Chubby as some of her little students call her) this year. And even luckier that we have been able to set aside 3 weeks in July to cram in some more adventures and travelling before heading back to our home countries. We’re being able to fit in:
- Chiang Mai, Thailand
- Phuket, Thailand
- Kuala Lumpur
- Kuta, Bali
- Seminyak, Bali
- Ubud, Bali
To say we’re excited and soooo ready for this trip would be the understatement of the century. I can’t see us getting angry much during those 3 weeks. Her mum (mom) has sent over the sweetest little bracelets (see photo), one for each of us in preparation for our travels.
I find it difficult to be angry in my little bubble of a world when I have gained such good friends, and been shown so much kindness from others. It is true, that when you’re thrown into a situation where numbers are few and situations can be challenging, you make stronger friends quicker than you would back at home. And I really like it. It will obviously make saying goodbye a lot harder, but I guess that’s the price you have to pay for living and working in the international circuit. (And hey, when everyone moves off to new places, you always have a floor to sleep on in different parts of the world.)
Anyway. For a word/subject I don’t like, I managed to pump out quite a lot, including a few detours and tangents here and there. There is one form of anger/angry I feel my generation have introduced though, and we probably experience it more than anger itself. And that is “hanrgy”. Yes, hangry.
- a state of anger caused by lack of food
- hunger causing a negative effect on emotional state
And I think I’ll leave is at that. It is getting close to lunchtime after-all…