Circus

1. a travelling company of acrobats, trained animals, and clowns that gives performances, typically in a large tent, in a series of different places.

2. British (in place names) a rounded open space in a city where several streets converge

A Circus makes me think of chaos. It definitely doesn’t fill me with childhood excitement, or remind me of the smell of popcorn or the stickiness of cotton candy (I am ashamed that that came into my head before candy-floss. Oh America, you’re taking over my brain and I’ve never even graced your shores…).

To my knowledge, I have only ever been to one circus in all my 22 (soon to be 23) years. A Chinese Circus that came to Rhyl Pavilion when I was younger and left me in awe of their talents, with a green plastic spinning plate to practice with at home. As family and friends know, and it really is more common than once expected, I’m not a fan of clowns to say the absolute least. The only clown I can really stomach is IT. Make sense? No. Hell no, he’s notoriously one of the most terrifying clowns in

cinematic history. But, because Pennywise was played by our beloved Tim Curry, I’m somehow okay with it. I can’t say that I would happily sit there and witch it on repeat and not feel a thing, but it makes it a hell of a lot easier to see through the brightly coloured pants, the red nose, and all that makeup when I can see one of my favourite actors lying beneath.

Life is often referred to as a circus. I just did a quick Google search of different quotes relating life to a circus. And I think my favourite is this:

If you surround yourself by clowns, don’t be surprised if your life becomes a circus.

This brings me back to how circuses make me feel. Out of control, chaotic, and all a little bit much. I wouldn’t go as far as saying my life felt like a circus this morning, but it definitely felt like I wasn’t in control, and was a set up for a bad Wednesday. We had a huge storm last night, which I love. But it stopped me from sleeping well, I was awake most the night, I slept really odd so my neck hurts, I got out in the rain to find my trusty breakfast street-food man nowhere to be seen, so I went to my 2^nd choice of breakfast, only to find that the restaurant had been completely gutted out, torn apart and closed down. Now I don’t want to sound like I’m just whinging and moaning, but when China hits, it hits hard. Everything comes in threes right? No matter how big or small. It really is the little things that get you down over here, but, it’s also the little things that make you feel amazing. Even the simplest thing of being able to communicate which sized battery and how many you need for the TV remote, or being able to give the correct amount of money when the veg-shop man or his wife tell me in Mandarin. Those little moments hit, and you’re like:

“Yes. I’m doing this. I’m in China, and I’m actually surviving, and surviving well! Go me! I deserve this smoked-chicken-olive-walnut bread!”

(Yes that bread exists, and trust me when I say this; it is b-e-a-utiful!)

So, no, all was not going great in my little world this morning. But it wasn’t quite a circus, yes we have some clowns here, yes we have some ringleaders, and we definitely have some monkeys, and not the cute kind. But when I got into my office at 7.35am, opened up my laptop, sat at my desk, and read those three words in my Hotmail inbox: INVITATION TO INTERVIEW hump-day seemed a little brighter! So what if it was also accompanied by another email telling me I was not shortlisted for the position? I knew this was a long shot, and to even be given the opportunity and chance of an interview from one of the positions is incredible. (Even if I do say so myself!).

 Circus. A word that brings back a lot of memories for a lot of people, makes others think of horror films, and probably a large population of the UK think of London. Not me. Thanks to Darren Shan, I have some fond memories of a circus of another kind…